A year ago Mrs D asked me to be her maid of honour at her wedding. Sitting in a lovely conference room in sunny Sydney I was overwhelmed and wow excited. I’ve never been in a bridal party before let alone being maid of honour. And I agreed.
The wedding was taking place in Austria (no not Australia) in 6 months time AND Mrs D is a small size 6. Next to her I look like the elephant woman.
So I joined the gym, going at least daily, started eating calorie controlled frozen meals and cut out carbs. Everything I could to shed a few kilo’s to look just past half decent walking down the aisle next to her. And it worked, the wedding was amazing, my holiday after the wedding (well if you’re in Europe in July then it is a must) but I was depressed. I’m not a gym person and I don’t get any satisfaction out of eating a calorie controlled frozen meal. The part that depressed me more than the gym was the comments. Suddenly everyone started commenting or thought it was their right to encourage, offer pointers or tell me how great I was looking. I did this for myself, and not anyone else, and I don’t see when it became your everyone’s right to tell me how I was going. No one tells a skinny how or what to do to make them look different.
I stopped the gym and the cardboard foods a few months after the wedding, it wasn’t sustainable and I couldn’t justify the costs (getting slim is expensive) and the weight is slowly starting to creep up again.
I stopped the gym and the cardboard foods a few months after the wedding, it wasn’t sustainable and I couldn’t justify the costs (getting slim is expensive) and the weight is slowly starting to creep up again.
Yesterday I rejoined a new gym, and I’ve made the first step into making sure that I’m doing something for myself again. Hopefully without the constant monitoring from all my friends this time. My goal in New York with a skinny Miss JJ. I realised though all of this that a number on a scale isn’t important but how you feel is. I need a personal goal to keep me motivated and that motivation isn’t something that comes from other people.
Wow! A couple of points.
ReplyDelete1. You look AMAZING in the photo. Congrats on the hard work.
2. I also lost a bit of weight a couple of years ago. People use to say to me how good I looked and how skinny I was. It use to irk me so badly. I quite often said, particularly to the people at the gym, that if I walked in today for the very first time, still needing to lose 30kg you wouldn't be saying to me how good I looked. You'd be throwing me onto the treadmill as fast as was humanly possible.
I get it they were just trying to be complimentary but sometimes it would have the opposite affect.
When I was a skinny Jack, I never said to people who needed to lose weight or who were losing weight any kind of comment. It is a deeply personal battle and people are better off just leaving it be and asking about the weather!
Nicely written post, Kellie. Good work.