911 Ten Years On

It's 10 years to the day since September 11. This day defined the first decade of the new century. It's also the day the world changed forever.
I remember the day or rather the next day for us with absolute clarity, almost like the 10 years haven't passed. I was at home getting ready for work and my partner turned on the TV and from that moment time stood still. Knowing he has friends in New York city, he took off for work in an attempt to ensure their safety.
I'd not traveled much at that stage and didn't really have a concept of New York, Washington or what it could possibly mean to be in a plane, let alone one that had been taken over by terrorists.
10 Years on and the images streaming into our homes are just as poignant as they were back then, maybe even more so. I still can't believe that something to this magnitude could be executed. That almost 3000 innocent people on their way to work, in a plane, or like the fire fighters, helping fellow countrymen lost their lives. It's such a waste.
In two weeks I'm heading to New York and Washington with friends. This will be my first visit. I'll be sure to pay my respects to those men and women who lost their lives and take a moment to think about those left behind.

Solo Travelling

The Amazing Race Australia is an inspiration. It makes me want to travel, even to places I've been, and I’m sure the 100,000 entrants who applied to be on the show would think so too. But you know what is better than running from country to country, and across continents? Taking part in your own amazing race and doing it on your own. Solo.

No I’m a self confessed loner, I love being on my own and spending time in my own company, but in reality, I don’t even cross the road at work to get coffee let alone crossing a continent.

The first time I traveled on my own was my third time overseas. Third time … I knew what I was doing right? No, I’d not any responsibility with any of those trips and suddenly, here I was at Heathrow airport not knowing how to read the signage to get to the Tube. My plan in London was to couch surf for 6 weeks. Friends would entertain me when they weren’t working and any travel would be weekend trips with them. That lasted a week before I got myself a ‘student’ ID and hit the open road.

In the 6 weeks I was in Europe I went to Santorini, Barcelona, Rome, Paris and Krakow. I explored, missed flights, found romance, got mugged, and was the first person in generations to see my homeland since the war. All experiences I would not have gotten nor traded for 6 weeks of couch surfing.

The confidence you suddenly gain is character building, not being able to rely on anyone strengthens you to the core. You challenge your perceptions and there isn’t anyone to judge your decisions. You begin to see things differently and I think, more clearly.

I traveled before the day or Meetups and Twitter, and a travel network was as foreign to me as saying hello in Polish. But I’ve come to realise, they would enhance my solo traveling, but couldn’t give the gift that I’d receive from my self discovery, exploring and pushing my own boundaries in a new city.

And at home, I still don’t get coffee on my own.

When in Rome

It's a blistering cold Friday night in Sydney, just after midnight, and I'm indulging in a Twitter conversation about Rome. I'm also going though my flickr account and geo-tagging my current images. (geek warning) The photo I have attached became the inspiration for this blog.
I never really noticed the photo before, it's sitting amongst hundreds taken over the course of my 4 visits to Rome in the last 6 years. There is only one other place I've visited as much and that is Santorini. I never stopped and thought about it, let alone said it out loud, but I think Rome would have to be one of my favorite spots on earth. So much so that I'd one day like to live there - even for 6 months.

Rome can be hot, dusty, dirty and noisy, but it is magical, romantic, spiritual, and totally funky all at once. Where else is pizza and gelato acceptable for breakfast? ok you can have that anywhere in Italy, but in Rome, where you have the cobbled streets and sometimes lonely plazas, where accidentally turning the wrong corner can lead you to the Pantheon. Thousands of tourists line to enter the Colosseum and you can still capture the couple standing away from the crowds taking in the magnitude of this once great structure.

Meeting place is always the Spanish Steps, if not just to walk into Gucci and purchase sungalsses because you can. Rome has a train structure, so simple in its complexity that you're never lost, but not always know where you're going.

Here are my top 3 tourist visits for Rome.

• Trevi Fountain: Who doesn't throw a coin in over your shoulder to ensure you're to return to this great city. It's the reason it's item number one.

• Roman Forum: The history around this great site is unbelievable. Entry is free and there is so much to see. Take a free walking tour to get the most of this unique attraction.

• Vatican City: OK technically not Rome, but it isn't just for the Catholics to visit. The art, the excess, opulence, and the tradition that surround the Vatican can not be missed. Mass with the Pope is truly special and if you book early enough, you can have some amazing religious experiences. Look out for the Papal Swiss guards and their uniforms too.

• Shopping: So I snuck one more in. Italian shoes, clothes and they have Sephora. Who can resist shopping in Italy?

Did i mention Gelato?

A spot of NRL?

Do I like my NRL?

Do bears bear? Do bee’s bee? Does a picket fence? Do wild bears shit in the forest? You get the picture. I’ve grown up my whole life with every sport and I find myself in the last 10 years or so getting so wholly involved with my teams, with so many memberships, it’s actually getting hard to manage. I’ve not missed attending at least one Origin game in those said 10 years. Grand Finals, tests, crushing defeats, mind blowing come from behind wins and even cheating. Yes I’m still in a world of hurt from the 2009 NRL Grand Final.

I sat though what was ultimately the best and worst footy season of my life. I watched a random footy show episode, watching my Nathan Hindmarsh tell the panel that we need to win 9 of our next 8 games to make the final. I persevered. Every home game I attended, even away games, I was there and we were on a 7-game winning streak, the last game of the regular season saw me trek out to Kogarah. We were annihilated. Beyond killed, at 37-0 having us just finishing in the top 8. 

The following week I went back, sat in the same seat and watched us play against the minor premiers, a game that I was sure would end in defeat and being out of the game, but I wanted to pay my respects to the team for the last time, and WE WON.

We then beat a few others and trail blazed our way to beat the dogs in the prelim final. BF had had enough of me by then, bursting his eardrum with my screaming, and putting up with me being a blubbering mess and he declined my invitation to attend the sacred Grand Final. To find someone to attend a grand final with me was harder than I thought. Brother was a dog as was Dad. That would hurt too much the week following that defeat, none of my friends are fans, so hmmm.. Mum? She jumped at the chance to attend and I had her holding my hand tightly as the last 40 min of what should have been the greatest day of my life slowly disappeared. Melbourne Storm won 23–16.

Retribution was mine on April 22, the following year when the Storm were stripped of all their points – bastard cheaters of the salary cap. I left work as this was breaking to watch the press conference. To quote David Gallop – the Storm went to “elaborate lengths of hidden payments” “Well organised system of paying players outside the salary cap” then the best news. The stripping of 3 minor premierships and 2 premierships. Retribution. 

So this blog didn’t turn out the way I expected, it was a tribute to a team of the past. My beloved Parramatta Eels. Next sporting blog I’ll tell you more about my love of other sports.

Who says I'm not happy being me?

A year ago Mrs D asked me to be her maid of honour at her wedding. Sitting in a lovely conference room in sunny Sydney I was overwhelmed and wow excited. I’ve never been in a bridal party before let alone being maid of honour. And I agreed.

The wedding was taking place in Austria (no not Australia) in 6 months time AND Mrs D is a small size 6. Next to her I look like the elephant woman.

So I joined the gym, going at least daily, started eating calorie controlled frozen meals and cut out carbs. Everything I could to shed a few kilo’s to look just past half decent walking down the aisle next to her. And it worked, the wedding was amazing, my holiday after the wedding (well if you’re in Europe in July then it is a must) but I was depressed. I’m not a gym person and I don’t get any satisfaction out of eating a calorie controlled frozen meal. The part that depressed me more than the gym was the comments. Suddenly everyone started commenting or thought it was their right to encourage, offer pointers or tell me how great I was looking. I did this for myself, and not anyone else, and I don’t see when it became your everyone’s right to tell me how I was going. No one tells a skinny how or what to do to make them look different.
I stopped the gym and the cardboard foods a few months after the wedding, it wasn’t sustainable and I couldn’t justify the costs (getting slim is expensive) and the weight is slowly starting to creep up again.

Yesterday I rejoined a new gym, and I’ve made the first step into making sure that I’m doing something for myself again. Hopefully without the constant monitoring from all my friends this time. My goal in New York with a skinny Miss JJ. I realised though all of this that a number on a scale isn’t important but how you feel is. I need a personal goal to keep me motivated and that motivation isn’t something that comes from other people.

5 things to do in Bali

I've never been to Bali. I never wanted to go. My high school friend was 'rich' enough to go every school holidays and my memory was of her returning to school with her hair braided. In one week I am going to Bali with 3 girlfriends for the first time. We've got everything and nothing planned. A private plunge pool, a bike ride down a volcano and a breakfast that you need to plan ahead for (and bring a buffet dress apparently) and a lot of massage time.

I don't know what to expect really. Firstly it will be the first travel I've done with these friends, and secondly, being my first trip to Bali, will it meet my expectations, what even are my expectations. Will I come home with my hair braided?
I decided to create a top 5 things I plan to do in Bali, and I'll revisit my post with what I came to find.
1: Tanah Lot, the ancient pilgrimage temple. Preferably at sunset.
2: Bike ride down before mentioned volcano, taking in the rice terraces
3: Massage massage massage
4: Eat everywhere from food stalls, to the Rock Bar 

5: Quite possible some shopping time or chance to get my hair braided?

My girls in Bali

Lessons learned

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that good things start with self esteem. You need to have confidence in yourself – who you are and what your life is about. It will carry you though your challenges of your life whether it's a career or relationship crisis, or something else that's been handed to you through fate.

To gain confidence you first need to recognise yourself as an individual. It's about being your own best friend. Don't be so critical of yourself. It doesn't mean you have to be a braggart and say 'I'm the best' but rather "I'm working towards that goal".

A defeatist attitude can get sewn into your fabric early in life if you don't watch it. There are worldly achievements and there are achievements just for yourself, which may be about treating yourself better, getting a new set of friends, or getting a job that feels right. Fulfillment is what we're all looking for. I think it is a lifetime search and it changes as we get older.

It's difficult to allow things to happen, but it's important to be aware of making them happen. It's a fine line but a sense of self will always guide you.

What is friendship?

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. The notion is specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will exhibit loyalty towards each other. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:
• the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
• sympathy and empathy,
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding.

Career or Job?

I posed the question to my dear friend Miss J today, 'What is the difference between a job and a career?"
Her response got me thinking... 'a job is something you have, to survive on a day to day basis; a career is a long term thing and you have something you want to achieve and you use your career to achieve what you want.' It made me realise that right now while I thought I had a career, I really only have a job and I don't have that drive for anything more long term.

It isn't that I don't want to do more or achieve more, it is just that I'm not really being enabled to do so. I used to have a ten year plan, and then got railroaded into an area of the business that I just realised, doesn't really value experience, diversity or me having an opinion and my career has stalled because of it. Not anymore I say. I put a plan to action - effective TODAY. The most important thing to do:

Option 1 or option 2.

Option 1: Make yourself visible to those above you. Your manager has a pretty good idea of what you are working on, but what about their manager? And your manager’s manager’s manager? Find ways to ensure that those in leadership roles know who you are and what you do. This can be done through projects or even chats over coffee, where the subjects can range from industry news to that person’s career history. If they know you, and know about you, they are more likely to think of you when a position does become available. They may be able to suggest a formal mentor in an area of the business you wish to move to. They can only do this once they know you.
 

Option 2: If you dislike your job, or see now real way out, you may want to consider looking for a new job in your current field, or try something totally new. Despite competition for jobs continuing to grow, it is also the best time to change careers, with the unemployment rate at 5.0%. This is amongst the lowest in the developed world. If you have your heart set on a change of career, the time to act may be now. Don't wait - you never know what is around the corner.

Don't You Forget About Me

I just watched a movie called 'Easy A'. While I don't recommend the movie, she referenced getting back some chivalry - like the 80's movies. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science, Breakfast Club. She wants John Hughes to script and direct her life - like a an 80's movie,
John Cusack standing under her window with a boom box, riding off on a lawn mower with Patrick Dempsey, Judd Nelson to thrust his fist into the air because he got the leading lady. She wants the 80's movie with an awesome musical number, with no purpose, just like Ferris Bueller
It started me thinking, was it all too much to ask?

John Hughes is no longer with us - that brilliant life was cut short in 2009. That is sad because the next generation of kids after me, won't have the magic and the brilliance that we had growing up. That you really can get a happy ending ... my life to be just like Molly Ringwald, in Pretty in Pink.
5 of the best

• Ferris Bueller's Day Off, 
• Weird Science, 
• Breakfast Club,  
• Mannequin
•  The Goonies.

(By no way mentioning the Star Wars or Indiana Jones series who I'm sure will get their own blog page one day.)

My Aussie Pride

Australia is tough. It is the most beautiful and the most deadly of the countries. The Box Jellyfish, Salt Water Crocodile, Blue Ring Octopus, Funnel Web Spider, Great White Shark, Brown Snakes are all from our shores. They make us scared of swimming and walking around outside. But that doesn't stop us? Hell no. Throw on a pair of thongs (flip-flops) and she'll be right.
We have the same outlook for our natural disasters. Since 2011 started, Australia has seen some of our worst ever natural disasters, inland tsunami's, flash flooding, fire, heatwaves and a category 5 cyclone. (Comparison URL: http://bit.ly/eQjVBG ) While several of the media are looking for the news to break us, or the sensational story that will capture everyone's hearts, the one true feat in this is we're all tough and we're all mates.
The sheer number of volunteers turning up to sandbag stations pre-flood and the tens of thousands helping in Brisbane and surrounding areas post flood made your chest swell with pride. These are Aussies, not rich, not looking for any form of recognition, just wanting to help out fellow Aussies. Mate helping mate. (ABC News: http://bit.ly/ghs7yU )
Bring on the recovery plans, the economic downturn while we pick ourselves up.
We'll have bananas growing again soon and be ready to take on whatever else will be thrown at us. Just like The Goonies, we never say die.

My Girlfriends

Friends come in different shapes and sizes. Some are there for you all the time, and some come and go from your life. Are you still friends with those that you went to school with? I consider that my life really started when I moved out of home and began on a path that was chosen by me, not by school and circumstance.
I also learnt a very simple lesson about friendship when at 26, I found myself suddenly single after having a boyfriend since early high school. Suddenly all my school friends were not there for me and I was alone. I learnt that friends are people who offer you a bookcase because they have a spare, loan you money until your tax cheque clears so you can move house. Those who know you when you're at your best and have seen you at your worst. Someone who is willing to travel from Australia to Austria because they asked you to be their maid of honour. A breakfast outing of bacon and eggs when said friend is an understanding vegan who knows what you're like without bacon. They are your friends.
I had a flatmate - knew her through a colleague at work, we lived together for 2 years, and recently I caught up with her for her 30th birthday. It was as though not a day had gone by since she moved out. The ease in conversation, or the silence in our conversations, the fun.. all still there. It didn't matter that she is married and now lives interstate. Friendship should mean picking up where you left off, no matter the distance - either time since you last saw each other or geographically.
2 girlfriends live in London We see each other for visits once a year, try to holiday when we go get together together, skype when we can but there is still distance between us - geographically. We have new and different friends and different lives, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Kudos to Mrs D, Miss JJ, Miss J, Mrs B and distant friends Miss Z, Mrs F, Miss V, Ms R.

My love affair with Santorini

Some people come to Santorini for the magical sunsets over the Caldera, some come for the romance, and some for the nightlife. I’ve wanted to come here since I was a small child. I remember watching a television program about the lost city of Atlantis and I glimpsed the white washed blue domed churches that are synonymous with the island.

My first time was 5 years ago and I’ve been drawn back 4 times. The first time was as a back-packer, the second as lone traveler, the third with my boyfriend and the forth, crashing the honeymoon of my best friend. To say I’ve seen everything the island has to offer would be an understatement, but to say I’ve had enough would be a drastic exaggeration.

You start with the churches, those white washed blue domed churches that are all over the island. Climbing stair after painted white stair, every corner showing you more of the history and the enchantment that is on offer. Cruise ships arrive in droves to take in this startling island and looking up, makes you smile in absolute amazement at this picture perfect village perched on the top of a volcano.

My 6 things about Santorini:

• It's the ultimate romantic destination: Without being in your face. I love romance - even if it isn't me being romanced.
• The best weather: There is something about the sun there, even in summer, it is absolutely perfect.
• Look at me !!: It is no where near as showy as other islands in the Mediterranean. Comfortably chilled.
• Something new around every corner: Each time I visit, I have found a new village, or area never found before.
• Lots of my favorite animal ever... DONKEYS
• Greek food: Enough said

Photos: http://kelliejane.redbubble.com/